Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
