i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
