you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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