Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
