Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize