whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
