i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
