my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
