You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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