Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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