craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
