I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
