That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
