carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
