yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
