i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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