Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize