I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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