I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
