I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize