yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
