The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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