Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
