my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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