Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
