I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
