this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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