Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
