having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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