No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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