Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
