By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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