i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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