she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
