id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
