I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
