Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
