I think im going to throw up on grandma
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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