fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
