I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
