I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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