After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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