I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
