You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
