just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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