My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
