Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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