You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
