Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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