My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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