Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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