you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize