Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
