Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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