Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
