dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
