my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize