I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
