if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
