We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
