if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
