sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
